Flashback: Balancing Our Minds

This past month, I had the honour to attend the Balancing Our Minds Youth Summit at Rogers Arena.

Balancing Our Minds Youth Summit is a day where high school students across the Lower Mainland gather to discuss major issues surrounding mental health, to educate young people about the sensitive topic, and to find ways to create a safe environment where people can express themselves and get the help that they need. At the conference, I was inspired by the many speakers who gave us insights on their experiences with various mental health issues and how they overcome emotional and mental barriers to become the people they are today. At the event, I was given the opportunity to connect with mental health nurses, school counsellors, and teachers. One of the most prominent discussion we had was why students’ mental health are progressively deteriorating and the causes of this trend.

One of the most interesting response to this question was that children are facing increasing amounts of pressure from their parents to succeed in school. This is because of the rising demand of undergraduate degrees. This mentality is also highly prominent in minorities, as they often compare their children to other exceptional students and hold them responsible for meeting the same standards. In more extreme cases, children are threatened with abandonment if they cannot achieve straight As and/or be admitted to a prestigious university. On the flip side of the problem, students themselves feel as if they cannot speak out about their struggles because of the stigma behind the topic. They are afraid of being judged, excluded, or bullied. Yet, it is a crucial topic that needs to be addressed and taught to the future generation.

In my opinion, I believe that our current curriculum should include Mental Health as a mandatory subject to students. One of the main reasons why bullying happens due to stigma behind mental health is because of lack of education about the topic. These lessons should include learning about the different types of mental illnesses, disorders, and their treatment methods. It should be followed by lessons on how to recognize signs of depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses and how to get help for their peers or themselves. Another big topic that should be covered in these classes is suicide prevention and intervention. To address these topics, lessons should be primarily discussion-based, where students can share their perspectives and experiences openly with each other without any judgement nor shame. By exposing the future generation to these topics, who are the most vulnerable to mental illnesses, we can create a safer environment for everyone to share their feelings and find ways to cope with their emotions.

Aside from educating students, an important element to improving the mental wellbeing of the future generation is to educate parents on these topics. Many parents grew up in an age where mental health was considered something too taboo to be taken seriously and discussed. For immigrant parents, they may have come from places in the world where mental health was a ticket to detention or other negative consequences. A way of educating parents on these topics is through parent-teacher conferences or monthly parent meetings at schools. By educating parents on these topics, children would be less likely to feel disconnected or that they must keep their feelings away from their families. Communication between parents and children will also improve.

Moreover, by educating both parents and children on mental health, I believe that our future generation can improve their mental wellbeing, and as a positive consequence, the prominence of mental illnesses will decline.

Lost

This week has been quite rough. With midterms, work, and a never-ending To-Do List, I have little to no time to do things that I love. I didn't even have time to relax!

A sad piece of news has also floated into my mind this week. It finally hit me that my contract at work is ending in a few months! This means that I may or may not get to continue what I love to do in the near future. Many people may think that this is a good thing because it gives me an opportunity to do other things or perhaps focus on school, but to me, this news is rather bitter than sweet. I love my job. To me, it is not only a place to make a living or to improve my skills, but it is a place where I can let go of my worries and do something that can have an impact on people. Over the years at my job, I've had the chance to connect with many people, from coworkers, to managers, to the customers I help. Each person has a significant impact on my life. My coworkers are like my brothers and sisters. They've helped me learn so much about the business and about the field I love. They are the people who always had my back and were always there to support me in times when I needed them the most. My managers are my mentors and perhaps even my parents. They are not only a role model to me, but they have nourished me to become the person I am today, whether that be in a professional setting or in daily life. And how can I not forget my customers or clients! They are the people whom I've helped over the years reach their goals and/or guide them in the right direction to solve their problems, which had previously given them stress. Ironically, they are also the people who allow me to think back to my own life and give me advice for succeeding in the future. The people I work with are my family, and as cliche as this may sound, my work is my life.

This week, I am lost. Where will I be in the future? What is my future going to look like in a few months? Will I be separated from my wonderful family? These are questions, I have yet to answer. Hopefully I will get to stay at my job and spend time with them. Hopefully, I can continue what I love to do, to help people with my knowledge and skills.

New Year, New Hopes

Sorry for being MIA. With the new semester underway, I've been busy with new courses, crazy homework loads and more. However, no matter how busy I am, I try to find time to do things I enjoy doing to not only relieve stress, but to purse my other passions, dreams, and goals.

Personally, I have always been a very physically active individual. For more than 10 years I was a Taekwondo athlete who competed regularly in numerous competitions and was an active member on their demonstration and referee team. I was even an instructor who taught beginners the basics of Teakwondo. Unfortunately, I was forced to stop practicing my favourite martial arts last year as a result of a high ankle sprain from a hiking injury in Las Vegas.

Fortunately, I am still able to practice (and hopefully still compete) in another physical activity that I love: Dance. After my long and mentally tiresome recovery, I decided to return to my dance studio to work on choreography and techniques.

Even though it might be hard to get back into the groove (haha, no pun intended), I will hopefully get back to where I was before my injury.

Flashback

Around this time of the year, I'm often mixed with two feelings, excitement and frustration. Excitement because the holidays are coming up and the time for gatherings and parties are just around the corner, but frustration because I know it is this time of the year when insomnia hits me for some reason.

Tonight is one of those nights where I am frustrated going to sleep. As I sit awake on my laptop typing away hoping that I will eventually feel tired enough to fall asleep, I think of how tired I will be tomorrow and how I can allow myself back to sleep within the next hour or so (hopefully). Ultimately, I am thinking of how tired I will be tomorrow for my final exam...

...that's when I remember this year is a little different. There is a purpose to my sleep, I need energy to do well on my 3 hour Calculus exam at 8:30am in the morning. The more I think about it, the more anxious I become, the harder it is for me to get the rest I need for tomorrow.

Tonight somewhat reminds me of one of those very long nights a year ago after being physically assaulted by my best friend. She was my everything for 3 years. I was extremely dependent on her. We used to do everything together, from eating lunch to having sleepovers. But because of her mother's views, we were forced to part ways in our friendship, in the worst way possible. Our nearly perfect friendship turned into a nightmare. We began to argue, to fight, and ultimately, to inflict emotional pain on each other. Although I told her that I loved just the way she was to make myself a decent being, I secretly always hated her. I couldn't express my own feelings, neither could she. When we somehow did, we simply dismissed each others thoughts. Somehow this boiled down to one surprise attack, and both of lives changed forever.

After the incident, I experienced anxiety. At school, I was afraid of bumping into her or her friends, ultimately getting hurt again. At home, I was afraid that she would text me. At night, I worried about what will happen the next day at school. It was terrible, I was living in constant fear. Thankfully, I got help early and started my road to recovery 3 days after the incident.

Tonight feels like one of those nights, except without the fear. With my sleeplessness tonight, I have the time to reflect on myself. Have I completely moved on yet? Where am I today in terms of my emotional wellbeing? I've come to realized that I am still gradually letting go of what had happened, even though I no longer live in constant fear nor feel extremely sad about the incident. I still miss being close to someone, but I know that I can no longer be emotionally dependent on them. I've gotten to learn more about myself, but I know that there are still a lot to learn as time goes on. I am getting stronger everyday, but I am still a work in progress.

Learn to Stop

In my previous post I mentioned that I started driving lessons but ended somewhat abruptly. Indeed, very abruptly. I stopped my driving lessons 1 day before my scheduled driving exam...and cancelled my driving exam on the very same day as well.

I know many of you would ask me, why would I do such a thing? Why would I waste my time, effort, and money on something that I will simply stop doing? There are actually many reasons for this.

My family does not own a car and has not owned one for at least the last decade. My mom simply hated driving and never had the financial capability to own and maintain a car. Therefore, I never really had a chance to experience what it is like to have a very convenient method of transportation at any period of time, at any time of the day. The only exception to this is when I am with friends and relatives who do drive. There was simply no motivation to do it.

I felt that I was learning to drive simply for the sake of fitting with social norms. I like driving to some extent, however, my enjoyment of driving is not to the extent where I would wake up excited to be on the road. The only positive feeling I felt was when someone asked me if I have my license yet, to which I simply answer, "Oh, I'm learning how to right now," and divert the conversation to another topic. From this fact alone, I doubted my reason to continue my lessons, especially my willingness to take the driving exam and pass it. At the same time, I feared being judged by my friends and family, and all the possible consequences to my career, academics, or even my health in general.

Yet, despite my worries, I ended my lessons one day before my scheduled exam, because I wanted to stay true to myself and to what I believe in, by reason and intuition. I learned to stop doing something that I had no motivation for. I learned to stop doing something that I was doing only for the sake of fitting in with social norms.

But at the end of the day, I will pick up driving again; sometime in the future, when the time is right.

New Beginning

Sorry for not posting lately...can't believe its been more than 3 months already since I last posted! Since September, it has been very busy with the new school year. However, unlike the past, this is my very first school year in University. I have been using the past 3 months to get used to the expectations and work load. I must say, it was a lot harder than I expected! Aside from making the big leap between high school and University, I had also attempted to get my driver's license (I ultimately failed, but you will see why in the upcoming posts).

One of the biggest challenges for me for the last 3 months was definitely time management. Often, I find myself studying for hours, struggling to keep up with my endless work load. At times, I would literally be working the moment I am off class and studying until bedtime (and by bed time, I mean 2AM). This caused me to have no time to relax whatsoever. Although I am gradually getting better at time management, I do continue to struggle to find time for myself, whether that be an hour or two at the gym for a workout session or simply down time to do things I like, such as blogging.

I guess...I still need a lot of improvements to get back to where I used to be in terms of my energy and happiness level...

Trail Blaze

View from Stanley Park

Just a few days ago, I was able to embark on an hour long bike ride along Stanley Park. Generally speaking, the trial along the park and back down to Coal Harbour is quite straight forward. With no rugged pathways and well paved and managed cyclist lanes, all bikers of all levels can easily complete the route without any difficulty. In fact, it is almost impossible to get lost on this trail since it is one-way only, with signs along the way to guide you to wherever you are going. The Seawall and Stanley Park trail is a good place to bike along before the end of this summer!